I have to say it. I love blog stalking. Love it, love it, love it. Totally addicting, and easy to loose track of time doing, but you read some of the most interesting (and hilarious) things. You can also find people you had forgotten about. Like the people who went to church with you growing up, or the snob in high school that still isn’t married (yeah, I took a little enjoyment out of that one.) You also run across some cute home decorating and scrap booking ideas and yummy looking recipes. I just need to find one that has a cure for heat induced need to vomit every half hour. That is the only reason I can think of as to why all of a sudden, after nearly three months of feeling great, I suddenly feel so sick all the time. Granted, we are on day 13 of triple digit temps, but still, it has been super hot before and I still felt fine. Minus the crankiness of being hot. San Antonio was insanely hot and grossly humid, and I felt fine there. Lameness of doom. If the rest of this pregnancy is going to be like this, I am going to cry. I hate throwing up. On the bright side, I can’t wait to find out what we are having this time around. Less than 8 weeks to go. However, I have to say goodbye to my dream of a home water birth. Stupid insurance companies. They won’t cover mid-wifery services or home birth, and because I had two kidney stones requiring two ER visits, we can’t afford to pay for both. So, in the interest of my family continuing to live in the same manner without declaring bankruptcy or anything I am going to bite the bullet and go to a regular ob and bill everything through my insurance. Hopefully everything will go smoothly and I will be able to avoid another c-section. Keeping me fingers crossed.

It's been one heck of a year.

And it really has. For the most part, Texas isn't too bad. But I did come to an important decision. If I ever have a baby due between May 17 and November 8, I might get arrested. Not even kidding. I HATE being hot, and if anyone rubs my belly in public, I would probaly hit them. Right now I am 10 1/2 weeks pregnant and completely miserable. It is freaking hot and the only time of day it might be nice (morning) is ruined by the stinkin dang humidity. When I was pregnant with Bug, I didn't swell at all until after he was born. (Result of he retarded spinal from the idiotic C-section. The hospital in Armpit, ID is the worst!) Now, every evening at 4:30, I kick off my regular shoes, stay in my office till 5 (so I don't get in trouble for not wearing OSHA approved shoes) and wear my flip flops. And they even are tight sometimes. I quit wearing my wedding ring, because my hands are way too swollen to even get it past the second knuckle. But on the plus side, I am loosing weight. (Don't talk to me about gaining weight durring pregnancy. When you start out at 200 pounds loose 16 and still have to wear maternity clothes in your first trimester, you can talk to me. Besides, you don't live in humid hell.) As long as the baby is growing appropriatly, everything is fine. My midwife told me she wouldn't be supprized if I did loose some weight. She is very strict about my diet and making sure I get lots of quality nutrients and water, and exercise regularly. Hopefully I will get my home birth, because I am really looking forward to that. I guess there is something to be said of living in a big city, there are a lot more options for alternative medical care, if that is what you want. That, and the shopping is SOO much better. (Hello, Craigslist anyone? It doesn't even compare to Armpit.) Ha, I am ending on a positive note. I'm so proud of me.

I never thought I'd say it.

Well, I've seen a few cockroaches, and even though they are ultra mega gross, and creepy, as long as I'm quick with my lovely "Death to the Nasty Creepies" spray (which is $4 more here at the local Wally World than it was in Armpit, ID) they die fast and I can vacum the corpse without too much drama. But last week, I saw the biggest roach I've ever seen. It was, and this is no exageration, the size of a cigarette lighter. You know the fancy one's you get monogramed and give as gifts. Huge, nasty, and wrong on every level. And here's the kicker. The stupid fat cat that was sleeping on the cat post slept right through it as the thing scuttled right past her perch on the wall. If it had wanted to, it could have touched her with its antenna. I don't know how she didn't hear it, I was across the room from her and I heard it walking. Unfortunatley I didn't have my Death Spray right next to me so, I freaked out a little and lost sight of it running under the entertainment center. Fortunatley, the cat woke up during my freak out and found the nasty thing. So, several shots of Death Spray, it had slowed down enough for both cats to play with it for a few minutes. Torture its last few minutes of life. hehehe. So after I swept it up and dumped it in the toilet, I started bawling. Yep, thats right, bawling. I told hubby I wanted to go back to Armpit, ID. That I'd rather have hobo spiders than these things. It was awful. Every time we bring a box from storage into the house, we have a few roaches. Never that big before, but still. I'm not bringing anything else back for a while.

Now I just need to find a job. I hate the job hunt. I feel like a worm on the end of a hook dangling over a pond of fish that aren't hungry. I'm about to the point that I just go to a Taco Bell or something and get a part time job there till I can find something better. Crapy work that pays is better than no work which doesn't pay.

Very much missed.

Finally, I have internet again. How I have missed it. It's been almost three weeks since I've been able to just look around in the online world. And now I have a nice new computer desk too. Love it, love it, love it.

So, we made it to Texas. So far, so good. Minus the fact that I don't want to go back to work, and I don't know anyone as far as a trusted babysitter, and money is starting to run out quickly. I'm thinking of just going to the Roadhouse and seeing if I can get a job quickly there as a server again. That way I don't have to put Bug in a daycare that I don't know, and there is still a little bit of extra income coming in. Hopefully Hubby's student loans come through soon and then we can start the "discussions" as to weather or not we can afford for me to be a stay at home mom.

Bug is walking all over the place now that we have more space for him to do so. He's getting so big. We had our first bout with pink eye for him. Not something I care to repeat. He looked just awful. But that got cleared up in time for him to get bit by the dog on Monday. I wanted to kill her. She was sleeping on the couch next to hubby while Bug was climbing all over him and playing, when he fell right on top of her. I think it was just a reaction to being woken up by someone falling on top of her, but still, I wanted to kill her. Hubby dealt with her while I took Bug to get cleaned up. Fortunatley, no stitches were needed. He just looks like we beat him. Poor baby.

I Love My Family, I Love My Life, God Bless America

So many changes and yes, I am allowed to feel emotional about them if I want to. I always cry on the 4th of July. This year was especially hard because it was going to be a first and a last all in one. Bug celabrated his first 4th with my family as hubby had to work. Yet, it is also my last 4th in Idaho for a long time. We are officially going to be moving to San Antonio on the 21st. Driving home from my parents house I was listening to the radio broadcast that is syncronized with the fireworks display and I kept getting all choked up. The mc who usually does the announcing/narrating died this last spring and he was a family freind. They did a little tribute to him and that got me started, but when Lee Greenwoods song blurb came on, oh, I totally lost it. I was afraid I was going to have to pull over and re-compose myself. I am so gratefull to live in a free country where I can marry the man who makes me whole, even though he's a different race than me. Where I can raise my son to love an honour God and Country and never feel ashamed of it. A country where my family has every opportunity open to us and all we have to do it take it. Where I can worship in a way that I see fit and live my life by standards that I wouldn't be ashamed of. America is truly great. Our leaders don't always make the best of decisions and are often too caught up in the media "coolness" of themselves. But on the 4th of July, every where I went, I saw families dressed up in red, white and blue, pulling wagons of kids and coolers, ridding bikes to parades, sitting on huge picinic blankets chatting with neighbors and bbqing. Being with the ones they love and hold dear and just getting back to the basics this country was founded on. I can honestly say it is my favorite holiday of the year. It's not about how many presents you are going to get or what kind of candy which house has or who had the coolest costumes. It is about family and the freedom we have to raise our families and work and live and be as happy as we want to be. And that makes me a little bit emotional and gratefull to live when and where I do.

I have to get back to the mad dash of packing up my house before Friday. Can't wait to take that four day trip to Las Vegas. Yes, we are crazy to take a trip less than a week befor we move across the country, but we need to take one last break as it's the last one that we are going to get for a while.

Such high aspirations crash quickly.

Just re-read my last post. I am a lazy, lazy person. Well, not lazy really, just struggling to maintain momentum. And then my cousins baby died, and I've been struggling with that much more than I should considering that it wasn't my baby. It's gotten to the point that hubby thinks I have seperation anxiety with Bug. I hate leaving him at daycare, I don't like leaving him to go on a date night, I just want him with me all the time. I don't want anything to happen to him. Ever. He's started sleeping with us a few times as well. And then he goes and takes his first steps. In the mall, as I'm sitting there with a freind, stuffing those amazing pretzels down my throat he turns away from the chair he's been pounding on, lets go and takes his first step. I start bouncing in my chair saying "Oh my hell, oh my hell!!!" a few times and earned a few dirty looks from the grouchy old lady a few table down and start to cry. My baby is walking!!! Get down off your high horse lady, hell isn't a bad word, its a place, and this is a life milestone. He's growing up so fast. Makes me sad and excited all at the same time.

We still have no idea where we are going to move. All I know is that I have five weeks left of work before spending a week in Vegas, (can't wait) packing and cleaning my house for a week, celebrating Bugs big no. 1 and pulling out for (hopefully) greener pastures. I'm holding out for Oklahoma City, but hubby has his heart set on San Antonio. Does it make me a bad wife if I hope he doesn't get accepted there? I can just forsee so many problems with that particular location and the people that could be involved and I really think it is going to be best for our marriage if its just us for a while. No outside family or relations to reley on exclusivly. Just us. But that is a fight for another day and I'm hoping it never comes. Keeping fingers crossed just in case, though.

I hate trying to pick a title

So, I've been doing ok at keeping up with getting measured. Not so great at eating right, and since I messed up my shoulder, the exercising just hasn't been happening. But, on the bright side, my lean mass continues to increase (a very good thing), but my fat and flabby mass went up a little and has stayed the same. Deep sigh. I miss the skinny me. The nutritionist keeps telling my I've got amazing potential and that it isn't typicall to see lean mass increase so noticibly and I will probably plateau here pretty soon. But I'm trying really hard not to look at the scale weight. I finally got hubby to get measured yesterday, and he is willing to give it a three week crash course with me. He's very skeptical of all diets and so forth. I'm hoping to get him to see the light. Weight loss is truly 80% eating and 20% exercise.

I do love those RedBox things. Yes Man; loved it. The Happening; not so much. The Cake Eaters; too artsy fartsy for my taste, but ok. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; pretty good, much longer than I anticipated. Marley and Me; loved it, made me cry, and Yuna is the equivilent of Marley in our home, but not quite as destructive. Taken; great movie for snuggling with hubby. Made me feel safe. The movie was good too. In the theater, Star Trek was pretty amazing. I've never been a bit Treky fan, and I told hubby I wasn't even remotley interested in seeing the movie, but we are going to have to go back to the matinee and leave Bug in day care so I can see it again and truly appreciate it. A bouncing, babbling/happy-shrieks/fussing 9mo old isn't a good thing to take the the movies any more. Something I told hubby, but what do I know? I'm just the mom that has had to leave the $2 movies early twice now. (I'm afraid I did rub the whole "Told you" thing for a bit.) Yesterday was Angels & Demons. L.O.V.E.D it. They weren't as hard on the Catholic church in this one as they were in Da Vinci Code. But it was a great movie. Now I have to go to Rome and see all those beautiful buildings for myself. Hubby can come too if he wants.

I was reading a post from Confessions of a Psychotic Housewife (I think that was the one) and I have been inspired to start sticking to a semblence of a schedule. Even though hubby is done with is bachelors, we still don't hardly ever sit down as a family and have a meal. I'm still not exercising to my super dvds and Bug doesn't get to see enough of us as a little family. Neither do I for that matter. So, starting on Monday, I will be getting up at 5*10am to work out, shower, get breakfast started, force hubby out of bed, get Bug up and dressed and we will eat breakfast as a family. I'm feeling pretty excited about this. So many changes I need to make in order to make life for us easier. Especially as we get ready to move. Don't know where we're going yet, but I'm hoping we will have a final destination by the middle of June. Can't wait for our vegas trip either.

Love, Hate and Like

I can honestly say that I don't hate anybody, but there are a lot of people I really don't like. At all. I was talking to Mac and Webb on Wed. at work, just complaining about a caller and how much she bugs me both on the phone and in person (they feel the same way) and I make the comment about how I am a terrible person for being so cinical and cranky anymore. Well, that led into the topic of how nowhere in the sciptures, bom, bible, anything, does it say you have to like everyone. Your supposed to love everyone, but you don't have to like them. So that made me feel a bit better. But I figure, if I don't hate anyone, I am ok to DISLIKE as many as I want.

Good Bye, Diet Coke. Farewell Half & Half...

Today is my last day drinking the best beverage in the world. Diet Coke with a shot (or two) of Half & Half. I love that drink. But, if I am going to suceed in the battle of the bulge(s), I have to change my ways. One of the girls I work with is getting married in a little less than a month, and I have to find something to wear that would qualify under the category of "Cocktail Attire". I have no idea what that is going to entail, but I can tell you this, it won't be at 183 lbs. So, I have five and one half weeks to drop some serious pounds and even more major inches. I'm going in tomorrow to meet with the nutritionist and get measured. And I'm going to have to do this 2x a week as well as Turbo Jam at least once a day and a 1 1/2 mile round trip hike uphill daily with the dogs. No more naughty drinks, no more delicious sugar cookies with the pink frosting, you know the kind. No more Reese's Whipps, best candy bar in the world. Time for getting up early, working out, EATING BREAKFAST (gag, I hate breakfast) and drinking gallons of water. My goal is to fit into the size 9 Tommy Hilfiger jeans I bought durring the pregancy and have yet to wear. Ever. The, all new habits must stay in effect and I want to fit into my sexy dance jeans by the time hubby and I go to Vegas for our second honey moon. I have been promised a massive shopping spree down there if I can fit into those jeans in time. And I'm just tired of being fat. But I CAN and I WILL do this. Go Me!!!

The FURMITATOR!!!

One of our cats is a major shedder. If you even look at him, its like setting off clouds of fur into the air. And if you touch him, its like you put your hand covered in honey into a bucket of feathers. Very, very gross. The vacumming to try and keep up with it all is insane and I was ready to turn him into an outdoor cat as all other avenues to keep the hair under control had failed. But, hubby was doing some research online to control the mess and stumbled across the Furminator. We bought one on Amazon and it finally arrived Monday. Since then we have "Furminated" the Grouch 3x and it is amazing!!! There is a noticable difference in the amount of shedding. You could stuff a small pillow with all the down we have lossened and removed from that feline. If you are having issues with animal shedding, try out the Furminator. It's awesome. Look it up on YouTube if you don't believe me.

Did Dad Seriously Just Do That?

Mr. Bug (9mo) is playing with the umbrella holder thing. Its this metalic, shiney monstrosity we picked up at the Good Will a few years back. And since my child is part magpie, he is drawn to it, must knock it down and mess with it till he unearths some way to break or damage it. Daddy doesn't want him to play with it (but the mail he doesn't want to look at, ie bills, sure go ahead) so he holds out the remote control to the ps3!?!?! Gasp, shock, fall over in a dead faint! The sacred remote control is being offered to a baby over a peice of eclectic junk that we got suckered into PAYING for? Wow. All I can say is WOW.

One day....

One day I will have a clean house. There will be no baskets of unfolded laundry looming ominously at the foot of the bed. There will be no constant drip, dribble, drip, drip from the bathroom sink creating my own personal bacteria garden. I will have living flowers in a box at my kitchen window with no need for cayenne pepper on the dirt. There will be no scars on the cheap flooring from the portable dishwasher, as the flooring will not be cheap vinyl and the dishwasher will be a permanent fixture. I won't have to worry about saw dust falling into the tuperware and silverware from the drawers above. Humidity and mold will not be constant concerns and battles in every room in the house as there will DECENT ventillation through out the house.

Of course all of these things are going to have to wait till all schooling is done for E and I get to stay at home with our lil' Mr. Bug. My time won't be spent stressing out over making sure I'm out of work in time to do the pick up from daycare before the late charges start to rack up. I won't look around me and survey our teeny tiny living space and feel overwhelmed by the amount of clutter that seems to accumulate. Yet every time I try to de-clutter, I find that we do in fact need and use all of those things. Like shoes, and socks and blankets and a dishwasher and dishes and a crappy kitchen table and a leaky fridge and sippy cups and toilet paper and towels and shampoo and razors and so on. I can't wait for Mr. Bug to have his own bedroom with a door. Then we won't be quaranteened to our bed room from 9:30 at night till the next day begins.

Wall sharing, another thing I will NOT miss at all. Currently our bedroom wall is against our neighbors bathroom. Normally, you wouldn't think this is a very big deal. But what causes a middle aged man who lives with his two cats, to moan and groan and finally shout at 6:12 every morning in the shower? And what kind of home repairs to you have to do at 5 o'clock on CHRISTMAS MORNING!!! The kind that requires all kinds of pounding and banging and crashing and cursing? Couldn't that wait till a more decent hour, like 8 when everyone else is surrounded by the sounds of wrapping paper shredding, kids squealing with excitement, carols in the background and the noises from the new toys. I definately think so.