39 Weeks . . . Are we done yet?

Ugh.  Both boys have been sick since last week.  Fevers, tummy issues, crankyness, coughing, clingy out of control, basically misery for all involved.  Add to that, I have never been this pregnant before, and I don't like it one bit.  But, I need them healthy before this baby comes.  Total catch 22.  I am definatly going to stay in the hospital for the maximum amount of time our insurance will pay for.  If not only for the better ac, but just to hide for a few days.  Not to have to deal with all three kids at once for a bit.  I am not going to lie, I am really nervous for this post-partum period.  Buddy has been super needy for only me for the last few weeks and it has been getting increasingly worse.  Bug has been wanting to be more helpful to me, but at the same time, not wanting to play with his brother or share with him or be very nice to him.  I don't know why, but it's kind of making me crazy.  But I did make dinner tonight.  And it was quite tasty, if I do say so myself.

Where is this coming from...

Picking up Bug from school today, and his teacher walks him to the car, rather than one of the other teachers who normally runs the pick up and drop offs.  This is either a good thing or a bad thing.  Usually it's a good thing.  Not so much today.  Bug bit one of his classmates.  WHAT?!?!  When I asked him about it, he said that the other child wouldn't share the new toy cars, so he bit him.  I am just at such a loss.  We haven't had any issues with Bug biting in over two years.  I don't know if it is because Buddy has started to get into some bad licking/biting habits, or if it's because Max (great brainless wonder of a dog) plays kind of rough sometimes and nips or what.  I just don't get it.  Talked to Hubby about it, and we are still deciding what is an appropriate punishment, because biting is never ok.  I just don't know why all of a sudden he would act out like that.

On a different note, I had my blood drawn yesterday by the best phlebotomist ever.  Normally my veins are really difficult to stick and I am deathly afraid of needles.  But I didn't even feel the stick yesterday.  From now on, any time I am going to have to have a needle poke, I want her to do it.  Today I hit 29 weeks, and I am getting very tired of contractions.  I told Dr. C about it yesterday, and he said as long as they go away within an hour or so, not to worry about it.  If they go on for three hours, I need to make a phone call to L&D.  It might be because baby girl is quite active and she is just irritating my uterus (and me in general when they happen), but as long as they stop and I don't start bleeding or leaking fluid, it's fine.  Joy.  But I am measuring about a week and a half behind schedule.  I can't help wondering if it isn't because of my inverted "T" scar.  Because I obviously didn't have a problem getting massive with Buddy.  I got to the size of someone carring twins.  I'm happy to stay small, but I hope she is growing well.

What is it about the bump?

I just don't get it.  Why do people seem to think that a pregnant belly is public property?  If I see a fat person, should I go up to them and rub their belly like a budda?  Will it bring me good luck or something?  Today marked the first day of my need for a shirt that says "Touch and Die".  On a more positive note, I was comparing pictures of this pregnancy with Buddy Blue's, and I am no where near as big as I was with him.  So that rules out a multiple pregnancy, now it is just a waiting game till next Wed for the ultrasound.  I am so nervous and paranoid. 

PANTS!!!

I have discovered a new love for yoga pants.  With every pregnancy I have really struggled with hip and low back pain.  And it does seem like it gets worse with each one.  Anyway, I was in agony today and decided to heck with it, I was going to use my pants to hold the hot rice bag against my hips.  AWESOME!!!  Relief was wonderful.  I could continue my daily stuff without being confined to my bed or the couch.  Just the occasional stop off to the microwave to reheat it and on we go.  Joy. 

I have been trying to get back into my routine of prenatal yoga every morning.  But as it took forever for our house to recover from the flu, I really got out of the habit.  But everyone is healthy, and I need it for me and the baby, so, I am going to sacrifice a little bit of sleep every morning and just do it.  This means I will have to put an end to the morning ritual of the boys climbing into bed with me for 30 minutes to an hour.  They watch tv and I snooze.  Probably not the best of habits, but when you are sleep deprived from being uncomfortable and getting up 4 times a night to relieve yourself as well as deal with the children who don't think sleeping thru the night is necessary, I will take whatever I can get.

But now I need to go reheat my rice pack and wash towels. 

Ugh...

16 weeks

I am so tired.  And tired of having to pee, and back aches, and hip pain, and eye strain head aches, and not being able to brush my teeth without puking, and round ligament pain, and heartburn, and looking fatter than I should, and weird cravings, and weird aversions, and my deoderant not working, and the new mustache (eww).  And there are still five more months and its going to get worse.  But, I am grateful to be pregnant.  I am grateful to feel the little nudges and rolls.  And the silly things my children say about babies in bellies.  And an amazing doctor. (see http://abovebeyondbirth.blogspot.com/2013/01/the-amazing-dr-cummings-and-his-wisdom.html?m=1 for more info.)  My dream would have been a homebirth.  But the midwife group said they would be more comfortable if I delivered in a hospital.  But, I did finally find a doctor who wasn't going to insist on bedrest at 36 weeks and a c-section at 38 weeks.  Now, I just need to facelift my house before school is out and it's too hot to want to deal with it. 

I'm sad, and ok and ready to try again.

I will never again take for granted those two little pink lines. It is heart breaking when they aren't there anymore. I haven't really been able to say much about if for the last two weeks. And I don't really want to say much more on the subject. Other than, as awful as it sounds, there was a reason I didn't really feel connected to this pregnancy. It has helped me move on. Something was wrong on the genetic level that woudl have made life an impossibility. But we will have another baby. Just not right now.

Never seemed more apt...

Wow. Pulling up this blog for the first time in months and the title really rings true. It all has changed. I have two handsome, healthy, happy and loving boys. A loving husband, and a Heavenly Father who loves me and wants what is best for me and my family.

Bug loves his little brother and is constantly looking out for him. While that sometimes requires the "Worry about yourself, Mama will take care of Buddy Blue." he means well. His vocabulary is increasing by leaps and bounds and as such so is his ability to communicate. Buddy Blue's name changes with what he is wearing, ie: Buddy Red, Buddy Green, Buddy Black, ect. The way he plays with his imagination is hilarious, and he still likes to cuddle.

Buddy Blue has defied all medical odds and is trying to walk. He loves to push Bug's buttons, and thinks being told "No" is the funniest thing in the world. The temper has developed and he isn't afraid to throw and all out tantrum if he isn't getting what he wants. I have already had to start with time outs for him. But there isn't a thing I would change about him.

Hubby has finally been promoted. WHEWW!!! It has been two long years in the making and couldn't have come at a better time. I love how hard working my husband is and all the sacrifices he has and still is willing to make for our family. He is the love of my life and I would be lost without him.

Birth control sucks. Period. All forms. The last birth control I was on was causing me to have a period every 10-14 days. NO THANK YOU! It was horrendous, not to mention the cost of all the tampons and PMS meds. I basically told hubby in January that I wasn't going to refill the prescription and it was up to him to prevent a pregnancy. I guess I didn't make it clear enough that I was done, because, three weeks after my last period, he freaked out when he realized that I hadn't been on any birth control. I wasn't to worried because he was hardly home enough for anything like that to happen. We had talked about having another baby after he was promoted and we got some bills paid down, and I lost the rest of the last two babies weight. I had been trying to use the calendar and basal body temp method of birth control. Throw into the mix the misery of condoms, and low and behold, my period was four days late. Again, I didn't think too much of it because, I was just coming off of hormonal birth control and I knew it would take a few cycles to get back to normal. Besides, I finally started bleeding the day before Valentines. BUT, it wasn't heavy enough, I wasn't cramping like I usually do, and it just didn't feel like a normal period. I had restarted the HCG drops so I thought that was the reason, but just to be safe, I took a pregnancy test. The faintest of lines showed up. I couldn't hardly tell it was there. I didn't feel pregnant, and with both Bug and Buddy Blue, I knew I was pregnant. I could feel it. Nothing this time. Just constantly feeling exhausted. (Again, I had an explanation for that also, two kids with bronchitis aren't sleeping at night). On Thursday my sciatic nerve started acting up, and on Friday, I thought I was having a heart attack, really ended up being a bad case of angina. Saturday the smell of garlic really started to bother me, and Sunday I could hardly walk my hip/leg/knee were hurting so bad. Pregnancy with Bug: spells of dizziness and the occasional heart pangs. Pregnancy with Buddy Blue, let just say I had to quit wearing heels (super sad day). Both pregnancies, I developed a Super Sniffer. If you want to get all technical about it, yeah, all the signs are there, but Hubby and I were in denial. So, stop the drops, say adios to the beloved Diet Coke as a precaution, and take another test in a week.

Bet you can't guess what the result of that one was.

Yep, I'm pregnant. Crap. Feeling kind of freaked out. Didn't want to tell anyone. Keep it a secret and maybe it will go away until I am ready. But no, Hubby let the cat out of the bag first thing in the morning. Tell the whole world, shout it from the top of buildings and mountains. (Personally, I think he is more excited than I am). My announcement, a text to family with my new cell number and a pic of the latest test saying "Guess what!!!"

Don't get me wrong, I do want this baby, and I am doing everything I can to ensure that s/he will be healthy, but three scares me. I only have two hands. And I DON'T WANT ANOTHER C-SECTION!!! Those are really my only hang ups. I know everything will be ok going from two kids to three. If Heavenly Father hadn't intended for us to have families ie: "multiply and replenish the earth", we wouldn't have more than one baby. That and I firmly believe that large family are IN GENERAL, better for children. (I am not saying that all large families are ideal situations for kids, but for the most part, kids from larger families tend to do better in life and thrive in childhood. Also not saying that small families are bad either. Just saying.)

Anyway, I am pregnant for the third time, and I'm kind of paranoid. But everything is going to be ok. We knew a while back that we had another spirit that was ANXIOUS to get here. I almost had the feeling that she is impatient and didn't understand what the hold up was. I'm excited to welcome this new addition into our family, names are currently being veto'ed left and right. Bug and Buddy Blue came so easily, but this time around, nothing seems quite right. Maybe when we find out in June the gender, that will make it easier to find the perfect fit. Hey, half of the contenders will be eliminated if nothing else. But I have now put it out there for the world.

I have to say it. I love blog stalking. Love it, love it, love it. Totally addicting, and easy to loose track of time doing, but you read some of the most interesting (and hilarious) things. You can also find people you had forgotten about. Like the people who went to church with you growing up, or the snob in high school that still isn’t married (yeah, I took a little enjoyment out of that one.) You also run across some cute home decorating and scrap booking ideas and yummy looking recipes. I just need to find one that has a cure for heat induced need to vomit every half hour. That is the only reason I can think of as to why all of a sudden, after nearly three months of feeling great, I suddenly feel so sick all the time. Granted, we are on day 13 of triple digit temps, but still, it has been super hot before and I still felt fine. Minus the crankiness of being hot. San Antonio was insanely hot and grossly humid, and I felt fine there. Lameness of doom. If the rest of this pregnancy is going to be like this, I am going to cry. I hate throwing up. On the bright side, I can’t wait to find out what we are having this time around. Less than 8 weeks to go. However, I have to say goodbye to my dream of a home water birth. Stupid insurance companies. They won’t cover mid-wifery services or home birth, and because I had two kidney stones requiring two ER visits, we can’t afford to pay for both. So, in the interest of my family continuing to live in the same manner without declaring bankruptcy or anything I am going to bite the bullet and go to a regular ob and bill everything through my insurance. Hopefully everything will go smoothly and I will be able to avoid another c-section. Keeping me fingers crossed.

It's been one heck of a year.

And it really has. For the most part, Texas isn't too bad. But I did come to an important decision. If I ever have a baby due between May 17 and November 8, I might get arrested. Not even kidding. I HATE being hot, and if anyone rubs my belly in public, I would probaly hit them. Right now I am 10 1/2 weeks pregnant and completely miserable. It is freaking hot and the only time of day it might be nice (morning) is ruined by the stinkin dang humidity. When I was pregnant with Bug, I didn't swell at all until after he was born. (Result of he retarded spinal from the idiotic C-section. The hospital in Armpit, ID is the worst!) Now, every evening at 4:30, I kick off my regular shoes, stay in my office till 5 (so I don't get in trouble for not wearing OSHA approved shoes) and wear my flip flops. And they even are tight sometimes. I quit wearing my wedding ring, because my hands are way too swollen to even get it past the second knuckle. But on the plus side, I am loosing weight. (Don't talk to me about gaining weight durring pregnancy. When you start out at 200 pounds loose 16 and still have to wear maternity clothes in your first trimester, you can talk to me. Besides, you don't live in humid hell.) As long as the baby is growing appropriatly, everything is fine. My midwife told me she wouldn't be supprized if I did loose some weight. She is very strict about my diet and making sure I get lots of quality nutrients and water, and exercise regularly. Hopefully I will get my home birth, because I am really looking forward to that. I guess there is something to be said of living in a big city, there are a lot more options for alternative medical care, if that is what you want. That, and the shopping is SOO much better. (Hello, Craigslist anyone? It doesn't even compare to Armpit.) Ha, I am ending on a positive note. I'm so proud of me.